Friday, April 1, 2011

Doctor's Medicine for stopping Domestic Violence




A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . . .


Doctor: "What happened?"


Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...."


Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it.... Just gargle and gargle".


2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.


Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.


Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!"

The Sweet Revenge




After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman.


The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place.


The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things.


While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases.


On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.


On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay.


When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.


The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started, slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad.


They tried everything; cleaned &mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in; the carpets were replaced, and on it went.


Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving Company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home; including the curtain rods

Area 51...




We ve all heard of the US Air Force's high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.


The pilot's story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy.


They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Las Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.


The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

Love Vs. Marriage


Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.

Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.

Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.

Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

KYA??



Height of happiness.
.A boy got a job in girls hostel.
.After 2 months Owner askd:Why dont u cum 2 take ur salary?
Boy: Kya? Salary bhi milegi?:
 lol lol lol

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