A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil’s hands. “You will be spending eternity here, but I’ll let you pick your own room from three I’ll show you,” the devil said.
In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. “I don’t like that,” said the man. “Show me the second.”
In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. “Well, that’s better than brick,” the man said, “but show me the third.”
In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.
“I’ll choose this room,” he said.
Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.
Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, “OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads.”
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has clock tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says “Yes”.
“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder”.
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day, the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock,
“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says, “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder.”
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks,
“What do they do here?”
He was told,” First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, “What do they do here?”
He was told, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”
“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells – why are there so many people waiting
to get in?”
“Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a government worker, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the Cafeteria!!!
Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.
Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led the way to the bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.
“What’s that brass gong for?” asked the friend.
“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.
“A talking clock? How’s it work?”
“Watch this,” said the drunk. He took a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and waited. Someone on the other side of the wall screamed: “Hey, you jerk. It’s 3:00 in the morning!”
