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How To KILL  A  LION 



COMPANIES FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING METHODS:


Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay late nights but give him no work to do.
give him Aloo Paratha  to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same Aloo Paratha to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......

TCS method:

hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary  lion dies
of hunger and frustration

Accenture Method:

Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead !!!! be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion about whether he is aTiger or lion......


IBM's metbod:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...  he dies of
unemployment...

Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't
score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

ORACLE method:

hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him for an African safari
for implementing flexcube (banking product) in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get a band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:

hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Capgemini method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!


HUAWEI   Method:

Hire a Cat; give him the salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatic death

PATNI   Method:

After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …

THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

 


INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE  AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE! J
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
.............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
...................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
...........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE
FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE
 ...   :-) :-) :-)

 This is how software engineers die in India .

 Enjoy software engineer life.. God is always with u………?