Animals chat on Face Book if they had one!

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If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates :

COCKROACH: "Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!"

Cat: "My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember"
...
Mosquito: "I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking"

Pig: "Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!! "

Goat : "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon"

Chicken: "If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC. Love you all ♥

~~~~Just Laugh~~~~~

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Santa dialled a phone nmber:-

A computerizd female voice said-

"aapke paas paryapt balance nhi hai..."

Santa- bas jaaneman..

tumse baat ho jaati hai itna hi kaafi hai... 

I LOVE U 2

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Santaji aap ko kabhi kisi se pyar hua hai?
Ha yaar, par wo manti hi nahi

Kya kehti hai?

Kehti hai
I LOVE U 2

Pata nahi Sala ye Dusra kaun hai?

Finding perfect men

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At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.

He must be musical, tell jokes, sing and stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV Set!"

That sensitive stuff

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Three aussie blokes, Mongrel, Coot and Bluey were working up on an outback mobile phone tower:

As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.

Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a carton of Beer.

Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'

'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.

'That's unbelievable, you told the wife her husband was dead and she gave you a carton of beer?'

'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says.

'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."

She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'

Then I said, 'I'll bet ya a carton of beer you are.'
..............................................................
Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.